Relational Enrichment

A relationship is like a pebble—when it hits the water it creates a ripple that has an impact way beyond where it entered. Research tells us that the greatest source of joy in life is healthy relationships and that the greatest source of frustration and pain is unhealthy relationships. Like the little pebble dropped in the water, the quality of our relationships ripple across our lives, the lives of those around and even impact future generations.

The Creator and Sustainer of our world dropped a pebble into the water of humanity impacting lives beyond measure. His name is Jesus. Having a relationship with Him impacts all other relationship. When struggling with difficult relationships the remedy is to draw closer to Him and let His light shine upon your head. When we take Christ into our lives His love changes everything. It transforms our hearts and heals our emotions and changes the way we feel and think about ourselves.

Being reconciled with God is the first step to healthy and loving relationships. When we get right with God we get right with ourselves and when we get right with ourselves we get right with others. It’s called the Ministry of Reconciliation. The highway of life is scattered with human wrecks that only Christ alone can restore. His love is light for your darkness.

God’s Love...Christ love...brotherly love...perfect love is the Head Lamp that illuminates the highway of life and disperses spiritual-relational darkness.

Love is Light

Job 29: 3 says, “How I long for the months gone by, for the days when he watched over me, when his lamp shone upon my head and by his light I walked through darkness!”

Psalm 18:28 says, “You Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.”

Psalm 110:105 says, “Your word is lamp to my feet and a light onto my path.”

 1 John 2: 7-11 reads

“Dear friends... I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in him and you, because darkness is passing and the true light is always shining. Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble...”

Let me paraphrase the last part of this statement: “there is nothing in him to make him stumble...” Here it is; “there is nothing in him to make him offensive” or “there is nothing in him to make him obnoxious.” “There is nothing in him that exposes others to something unpleasant or harmful.”

John’s comment is a shocking one, for here and elsewhere he is deliberately awakening the church to the need for radical love if we claim to follow Jesus. John was writing to a specific situation in which members of the church did not love their Christians brothers. He is dealing with a particular problem and concentrates all his attention on it.

So John brings the light of Christ to shine upon the problem saying “This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends since God loved us; we also ought to love one another.”  (1 John 4:10, 11)

God loved them even while they lived in a sinful wretched condition. He loved them when they spiritually offensive and obnoxious. He loved them when they were sexually immoral, greedy, foul backbiters, gossipers, slanders.  

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  (John 13:34)

Love is Righteousness

What is Righteousness? Doing what is right.

1 John 2:29 says “If you know that he is righteous, you know that everyone who does what is right has been born of him.”

John does something unusual or strange in this statement. His statement seems to go from back to front. We expect John to say everyone who has been born of him does what is right. Instead he says that doing what is right is the sign of spiritual birth. Therefore doing what is right gives assurance that we will have confidence before him at his coming.

What John is trying to stress is that doing what is right; this is the sign of spiritual birth. John is quite clear that being a Christian is dependent on believing in Jesus Christ and loving one another.

The badge of who we are in Christ Jesus is brotherly love. This is the identifying mark. The world recognized Christians by their love for one another. It isn’t the way they dressed, it isn’t so much their social groups they created or the music the listened to ...not at all.

They were marked by the way they loved on each other...cared for each other, provided for one another, supported one another...they didn’t fight one another, try to manipulate one another, or gossip about one another, betray one another, they didn’t take advantage or abuse one another...they didn’t steal or rob, get drunk or run around with other women. They were honest, peaceful and loving.

Their relationships were of superior quality. They had family like characteristics; the world couldn’t wrap their heads around it. It was all too strange.

The second part of the equation is this: “you know that everyone who is hated has been born of Him.”

 What is it that world hates about Christ? Why do they view Christians with such contempt? What is the most outstanding characteristic of the church the world hates above everything else? It is brotherly love. It’s the way Christians love each other.

John says “the reason the world does not know us is that they did not know him...do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers.” (1 John 3: 1; verse 13)

It’s this kind of love the world hates. It hates agape love. It hates pure love. Pure love, God’s love exposes the darkness of the world...it exposes the unrighteousness of the world’s relationships. Paul says “But among you there must not be even hint of sexual immortality, or any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s people...have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them...” (Ephesians 5:3 & 11)

How do we expose fruitless deeds of darkness? By the way we love one another...by being united in brotherly love. Christians love one another.  They are not rude to one another or offensive. They’re not to abuse or exploit each other for selfish gain.

All these sins have to do with exploitation; using and abusing others in selfish and lustful exploitations. All acts of sin and sexual immortality are forms of exploitation and abuse.

All these sins create trust issues. It causes pain and isolation. When a person is mistreated and abused in some way they can’t trust anyone for fear of being harmed or offended.

Love is Trusting

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

Have you ever been afraid of someone? What makes your afraid or uptight with someone? Isn’t it a trust issue? You just don’t trust him or her and it may be for very good reason why you don’t trust someone. Why? Maybe it’s because the person you are thinking of has a track record of being rude, making smart remarks, putting you down. Reflecting an attitude or showing contempt? The word of God says “fear has to do with punishment” It’s like someone standing over you with a big stick ready to beat you. It is as though you deserved to be punished and inflicted with pain. It a form of intimidation, control but in reality, it’s sinning against a person. The word of God says “But perfect love cast out all fear.” No one fears love kindness especially perfect kindness. Brotherly is kind, respective, considerate, gentle, and patient.  

1 Corinthians 13

New International Version (NIV)

 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

All of these things are good things...speaking in tonques, gifts of prophecy, knowledge, faith and charity. What is not good is religious performance or activity, gifts on display or even worship on display by one who is not otherwise acting as describe here in verses four to six. If perfect love is absent, that person’s life before God adds up to zero. Christian behavior is everything.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

The Corinthian’s spirituality showed evidence of all kinds of behavioral flaws. Their knowledge led to pride and the “destruction of a brother whom Christ died for.” (8:2, 11)

There wisdom led to quarrels and rivalry (1:10; 3:4) Their tonques were neither edifying the community nor allowing the unsaved a chance to hear the Word.

To have love is to behave lovingly, just as to have prophecy means to speak with a prophetic gift. And to act lovingly means actively to seek the benefit of someone else. To “have love,” therefore, means to be toward others the way God in Christ has been toward us.

To “walk in the Spirit” is to “love others.”